The true story of what Alaska is really like...

ALASKA.....It's a place everyone knows of, but not many have actually seen.

It seems like now, more than every before, there are new reality shows about my home state Alaska. Most of those depict the most crazy extreme things possible. They show the rural part of Alaska (*when I say rural I mean the Native villages, where not many people live). They show people hunting, fishing, driving (*Ice Road Truckers- which by the way my cousin drives that road almost every day and says the show makes it seem 10000 times worse).

Honestly those shows depict the wild things of Alaska- I guarantee me and basically everyone I know haven't seen or experienced the things the shows talk about and do. Here are some things that I love and don't exactly care for in my home state.

Alaska can get really warm- the warmest I've ever felt here was 99. Typically though in the summer it will be between 75-80.

The sun doesn't really set in the summer- it will be 11pm and still is as bright as day. However, after June we start losing daylight (about 3-5 minutes a day).

Alaska is typically a safe place- people don't always lock their cars when they run into the store. In the winter it gets so cold that people leave the car running when they run into Walmart, and nobody dares take the vehicle. Home invasions rarely happen here (maybe because its so dang light out they'd get caught lol).

The economy is good- when the recession happened all I saw on the news was people losing their jobs. Nobody lost their job in my town. In fact, always seems like they are hiring.

The scenery here is beautiful. In my town, you can't see much, but if you travel just outside of it there are mountains everywhere, waterfalls all over, wildlife, and more. It is something I almost don't realize because I've grown up here- people find Alaska to one of the most beautiful places.

I could go on and on about how life REALLY is here...There are some things that I don't like about here though...

Alaska can get really cold. I live in North Pole (right outside of Fairbanks), which is known as the Interior (being smack dab in the middle of Alaska) Fairbanks is the second biggest city in Alaska, having probably around 200,000 people in this area.

Fairbanks can get REALLY cold. I've been in 50 below zero weather before. It's so cold we have to plug our cars in just for them to start. Cars in Alaska are winterized, which means they have an outlet in them allowing them to be plugged into an outlet. It helps keep the engine warm. People generally don't spend anytime outside in this weather, we just run inside buildings lol...

Alaska would be PERFECT if we had more shopping/restaurants. Up here the "place" to shop is basically Walmart or Fred Meyers (similar to Walmart). There are restaurants here, but nothing like how it is in the rest of the states. The thing is people eat out all the time here. Every time I go somewhere for lunch the line is basically out the door. We need more places lol!!!

So, that is what I think of my home state. I think the people are great. Everyone always has things they wish was different about where they lived, and I'm no different. One day I hope to get out of here (next summer hopefully), and go to Colorado for the rest of my nursing school. But for now, Alaska is where God has me, and I am content with that...

What's your dream?

Today I went to my local college and signed up for classes. It's official, I will be going to the University of Alaska Fairbanks to finish up my classes in order to apply for nursing school next year. I originally thought I wouldn't be going there this semester, but God had other plans.

I really felt like I would be moving to Colorado this year to finish up my pre-requisites for the BSN program of nursing. My goal was to apply for the University of Colorado Denver School of Nursing next year. I even applied for numerous colleges in Colorado, and got into every single one of them. The one I thought I'd be going to was the University of Colorado Denver. I was excited because it's a great school, but upon talking to them, they thought I should finish my pre-requisites then come down there next year.

It's hard being so close to a dream, but feeling like it's still impossible to reach. I would love to be done with school. I want to work in a hospital, possibly in the OR (operating room) as a surgical nurse. Maybe I've seen one to many episodes of Grey's Anatomy ;)

I found myself being discouraged that I would be able to go to Colorado this year. However, if it's not God's will I don't want to do anything. I'm tired of doing things on my own time. I will get my degree, but I want to do it in HIS time, not mine.

So, if you have a dream or a passion, keep working on it. Slowly, but surely, you'll find yourself closer to reaching your goals. I know I can't wait to achieve mine!

I was stuck in an abusive marriage....

Have you ever had something happen to you that you didn't think would ever happen to you?

Then when it did happen, you weren't sure how to fix the problem?

I have...

I was involved in an abusive relationship- I was married for almost six years.

Every little girl dreams about they day they'll be married. They want to be treated like a princess! We want a true gentleman!

My husband was never like that. I really couldn't put my finger on it, but I knew there was something different about him. I couldn't understand why he would do or say certain things- he made no sense whatsoever sometimes. We ended up getting pregnant, and I thought for sure that it would make him "better". I was wrong, it only made things 100% worse. Girls need to realize today, having a baby will NEVER fix things. It might hide the issues for awhile, but after a bit, the same problems you had before will come back up.

I was 23 when I had my daughter. My husband and I both actually made really good money. We should've had no problem paying bills, but literally the money just disappeared the second we were paid, and I couldn't understand why. My husband got mean- not just like they everyday grumpy person, but mean. He would degrade me, and was so verbally abusive, I couldn't stand to be around him.

He started drinking a lot more than he should, and would sometimes stay up literally all night, even if he had to work (he was in the ARMY) the next day.

One day I had enough, I told him I was leaving. I said I "didn't know what was going on, but I didn't want to be a part of this lifestyle anymore". He was shocked. Didn't want me to go- he stepped into our daughter's room (who was around 1 and a half at the time), and pulled out needles. He told me he was a drug addict, and he didn't know how to stop. He said he loved me, and he would seek help.

I was stunned....

Speechless...

What do you say to someone that you'd been with three years, who all the sudden tells you they have a major drug problem?

Well, I told him if he got help, and we went to therapy we would keep trying. So, for a month or two, he attempted to get help...But I was suspicious of everything. Anytime he seemed a bit off, I would accuse him of drugs- then I found out he slipped up. He couldn't stop on his own will.

Eventually he got into a methadone clinic. For those of you that don't know what this is, here is what I know.

Methadone is basically a strong drug, that takes away the physical desire to do drugs. People only take methadone if they truly have a drug problem. At first, it didn't help him at all. Over time, it seemed like it did work though. We finally moved on, and things were ok.

We then got the idea to move out of Alaska- my husband (at the time) had gotten a job in another state. I was in school, so he had to leave a few weeks before I was able to. I should've never left Alaska. By the time my daughter and I made it to Louisiana to be with him, he was fully on drugs again. The first night I was there, he went out with guys and got so drunk, leaving my daughter and I completely alone in a completely new state. By the second night, I found needles, and diabetic insulin he was going to inject in him for some sort of high (he isn't diabetic). He was verbally abusive to me, blaming everything on me. His shortcomings were my fault. He said people can't have fun unless they're drinking. When someone tells you "the only way to have fun is if your drinking", they have a problem. Just weeks after I got to Louisiana, he admitted he was using again. He even admitted that he was hiding the fact that he was married to people.

I think it took moving to another state to help me to finally leave him once and for all. My sister lived about 10 hours away from where we were living. I told him I wanted to visit her. He said ok, and he drove my daughter and I there. When we were almost there, I told him I was going to leave him. He didn't like that, but kept driving, because he didn't believe I was to serious.

2 weeks after I made it to Georgia (my sister's house), I officially left my husband. He was FURIOUS, was sending me pictures of drugs (heroine), that he swore he would inject in him unless I came back to him. He would lie to me, threaten me, and degrade me every single time we talked. I bought my tickets back to Alaska, and never looked back.

My ex-husband has been living a nightmare since I left him. He has a mental disease...He has been in/out of jail, stolen tens of thousands of dollars from his own family, stolen my identity (leaving me 40,000 in debt), done every kind of drug possible, and lost his daughter.

It breaks my heart that he made those choices, it really does. I know deep down he loves me and my daughter, but his mind just doesn't work like it should.

Life has been tough for me- when someone steals your identity, it really makes life difficult. But God is good- I am much happier in life, and my daughter is thriving.

It is possible to move on from a marriage that is full of abuse...People need to know it's never ok to be degraded and made to feel worthless. YOU DESERVE BETTER! If your in an abusive relationship, know that there are people that will help you. It doesn't have to be like this for the rest of your life. I know had I stayed with my husband, my life would never get better.

I am waiting for the right man this time- it is hard. But if I have to wait ten years for the right man I am ok with that. God showed me what happens when I choose my relationship without Him- I am definitely relying on him to choose the right guy.

Be PRESENT all the time...

Take time for your kids...BE THERE for them.

So many of us (myself included) are with our kids, but distracted because of our phones or our favorite shows. We need to put down our phones, turn off the tv, and BE THERE for our kids. I know for me it got so bad, I literally had to tell my daughter that when I got home, we have designated time before I had to start my homework, where we would do whatever she wanted.

If she wanted to color, then we'd BOTH color...

If she wanted to have a pillow fight, then she better run, because I'm AWESOME at that game....

I know that we all are tired after working all day, but our kids need us. We only have them for a short time before they're out of the house for good- then we will regret every second we played on our phones instead of playing hide and seek with them...

I don't ever want my daughter to think she isn't my first priority. She deserves the best, so I plan on giving her the best.

A five year old's Alaska adventure...

Today, I went on an adventure!
An adventure for a 5 year old, but nonetheless, an adventure!!

It amazes me that we could literally about do nothing, and my little one would still say "this is the best day ever!!"

I typically work long hours at the hospital here, and when I've been off I've been stuck doing homework. Thankfully, summer is here! I've had the past three days off- I asked my little girl what her goals for our time off together would be (her school ended last week, so she's on summer break too). Here's a list of some things she said...

1. Get chicken nuggets (she absolutely loves eating out together just me and her- it's kind of our fun thing to do together)

2. Go to movie theatre (we go to most of the kids movies together, especially in the winter because it's so cold- unfortunately, we'd seen them all already so we didn't accomplish this goal)

3. Go to the "beach" as she calls it. It's honestly a lake, but has a beach feel to it because there's a sandy part to lay on and play on.

4. Get a sand bucket and beach ball for the beach.

5. Fly our kite!

6. Get her nails painted

All those things are what my daughter considers to be extremely fun...

Unfortunately it's been freezing cold so we hadn't really been able to do anything outside... Until today..

Honestly, the weather was cold today- super windy.. Not typically a day to hang out at the lake.

But how could I possibly say no to a little one begging to go? She won lol....

Our day started out with her beloved chicken nuggets at Boston's (similar to Applebee's)...

Then it got sooo windy I knew it was time...time for kite flying!
Hailey insisted on doing it all by herself... She did great!

It brought me back to when I was younger- kids today spend so much time inside on their iPad or video games (hailey included). It felt good to be outside even I'm freezing alaska.

I was almost hoping she'd give up on the lake because of weather- didn't work- she was more determined than ever..

When we pulled up we realized we had the entire place to ourselves. Not one single kid there in the water besides my sweet Hailey. I had long pants and my coat on. Hailey was only in her swimsuit.

But boy, even in the cold Hailey had a blast!

About two hours later, my little five year old princess was ready to leave...to get hot chocolate!!

So here we are now at the local coffee shop in North Pole, Alaska... She's got her hot cocoa and a bagel.

My daughter had an adventure today-
From kite flying to the lake, we had fun enjoying God's creation...life is an adventure, we need to do things to make ourselves and our loved ones happy. We only have one chance- better make the most of it!

What was your last adventure?