I was stuck in an abusive marriage....

Have you ever had something happen to you that you didn't think would ever happen to you?

Then when it did happen, you weren't sure how to fix the problem?

I have...

I was involved in an abusive relationship- I was married for almost six years.

Every little girl dreams about they day they'll be married. They want to be treated like a princess! We want a true gentleman!

My husband was never like that. I really couldn't put my finger on it, but I knew there was something different about him. I couldn't understand why he would do or say certain things- he made no sense whatsoever sometimes. We ended up getting pregnant, and I thought for sure that it would make him "better". I was wrong, it only made things 100% worse. Girls need to realize today, having a baby will NEVER fix things. It might hide the issues for awhile, but after a bit, the same problems you had before will come back up.

I was 23 when I had my daughter. My husband and I both actually made really good money. We should've had no problem paying bills, but literally the money just disappeared the second we were paid, and I couldn't understand why. My husband got mean- not just like they everyday grumpy person, but mean. He would degrade me, and was so verbally abusive, I couldn't stand to be around him.

He started drinking a lot more than he should, and would sometimes stay up literally all night, even if he had to work (he was in the ARMY) the next day.

One day I had enough, I told him I was leaving. I said I "didn't know what was going on, but I didn't want to be a part of this lifestyle anymore". He was shocked. Didn't want me to go- he stepped into our daughter's room (who was around 1 and a half at the time), and pulled out needles. He told me he was a drug addict, and he didn't know how to stop. He said he loved me, and he would seek help.

I was stunned....

Speechless...

What do you say to someone that you'd been with three years, who all the sudden tells you they have a major drug problem?

Well, I told him if he got help, and we went to therapy we would keep trying. So, for a month or two, he attempted to get help...But I was suspicious of everything. Anytime he seemed a bit off, I would accuse him of drugs- then I found out he slipped up. He couldn't stop on his own will.

Eventually he got into a methadone clinic. For those of you that don't know what this is, here is what I know.

Methadone is basically a strong drug, that takes away the physical desire to do drugs. People only take methadone if they truly have a drug problem. At first, it didn't help him at all. Over time, it seemed like it did work though. We finally moved on, and things were ok.

We then got the idea to move out of Alaska- my husband (at the time) had gotten a job in another state. I was in school, so he had to leave a few weeks before I was able to. I should've never left Alaska. By the time my daughter and I made it to Louisiana to be with him, he was fully on drugs again. The first night I was there, he went out with guys and got so drunk, leaving my daughter and I completely alone in a completely new state. By the second night, I found needles, and diabetic insulin he was going to inject in him for some sort of high (he isn't diabetic). He was verbally abusive to me, blaming everything on me. His shortcomings were my fault. He said people can't have fun unless they're drinking. When someone tells you "the only way to have fun is if your drinking", they have a problem. Just weeks after I got to Louisiana, he admitted he was using again. He even admitted that he was hiding the fact that he was married to people.

I think it took moving to another state to help me to finally leave him once and for all. My sister lived about 10 hours away from where we were living. I told him I wanted to visit her. He said ok, and he drove my daughter and I there. When we were almost there, I told him I was going to leave him. He didn't like that, but kept driving, because he didn't believe I was to serious.

2 weeks after I made it to Georgia (my sister's house), I officially left my husband. He was FURIOUS, was sending me pictures of drugs (heroine), that he swore he would inject in him unless I came back to him. He would lie to me, threaten me, and degrade me every single time we talked. I bought my tickets back to Alaska, and never looked back.

My ex-husband has been living a nightmare since I left him. He has a mental disease...He has been in/out of jail, stolen tens of thousands of dollars from his own family, stolen my identity (leaving me 40,000 in debt), done every kind of drug possible, and lost his daughter.

It breaks my heart that he made those choices, it really does. I know deep down he loves me and my daughter, but his mind just doesn't work like it should.

Life has been tough for me- when someone steals your identity, it really makes life difficult. But God is good- I am much happier in life, and my daughter is thriving.

It is possible to move on from a marriage that is full of abuse...People need to know it's never ok to be degraded and made to feel worthless. YOU DESERVE BETTER! If your in an abusive relationship, know that there are people that will help you. It doesn't have to be like this for the rest of your life. I know had I stayed with my husband, my life would never get better.

I am waiting for the right man this time- it is hard. But if I have to wait ten years for the right man I am ok with that. God showed me what happens when I choose my relationship without Him- I am definitely relying on him to choose the right guy.